They may be random, incoherent, badly spelled,and obnoxious, but I don’t care!
Welcome to THE KRAKENSTEIN RANTS!
Today I will start going around talking about random crap I see, what people seem to be chatting about, and other stuff that seems relevant.
Today’s topic: Xbox One.
I saw half the conference yesterday cause I had a job interview, but then I saw the rest on youtube.
Well, it was boring and mehtacular.
I never understand what Xbox wants to sell us. Do they want us to buy a mid tier tablet without getting the screen, or a ‘SPORTS MACHINE!!!”?
The first E3 I saw a Xbox presentation was when they were selling the 360 slim, and they talked about the specs and the apps, but not the games. I kinda got bubbled a bit because I wanted to know why to buy this console.
I thought: “Maybe next year they will sell me the system”.
What they sold me was the Kimeh.
They did the same “Here are the specs, here are the apps, SPORTS!!!” thing, but now they were selling some Kinect games(which was basically motion sensing Wii games)Milo (playing with an A.I.) and Halo 4.
I was sorta interested, until the full line up that actually came out, and when Milo was canned , it made me lose the fuck I had.
Now, I am not saying the device is crap, it just doesn’t play games.
On the other hand, it does wonders with almost everything scientific.
Last year was the year of “Hey, maybe they will sell me games” I thought, nope.
They did the same crap over again. “SPECS, APPS, SPORTS, AND USHER!!!”. The only good thing about the conference was the South Park guys trolling the presentation of the tablet multi device thing.
Here is a link to the video:
They made fun of it cause it seems just stupid(plus it was easy).
So yesterday I was getting hyped for the console presentation, until I remembered the last few years, and I prayed to my dark demon lord Bunny Chan to let them show the main point of a gaming console…GAMES!!!
What did they do, THE SAME CRAP ALL OVER AGAIN!!
I could have let it slide if the name of the system didn’t sound so derped and felt like someone just had to slap that name the day before.
I could have let it slide cause I know E3 is coming soon.
I could have let it slide if the system didn’t look like VHS and they said it was “Innovation!”.
I didn’t let it slide, I can’t handle their presentation bullshit anymore.
They did the same shit as last year, and they never learn.
I understand that you want to sell the system to everyone, but if you sell a console that it’s main purpose was to play games and don’t show games, THE FRAK SHOULD I CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE!?!?!
Why do I want to buy your console, if the things that it does I can just use my laptop and do it (in a crude way of course).
Skype, movies, apps, games= Computer.
TV guide? I just switch to the frakking channel or hit the guide button in my remote control.
Here is the part that you should have focused a bit more, games.
But not the Sports, Shooter, or Multiplatformers. No, you should have focused on at least two games with live gameplay that were console exclusive. That is it. You showed me that, and you got me hyped.
Is that fucking simple.
So here is the last hope you have, E3. You have to fucking sell the system with games in E3.
You have to show the games, show actual gameplay, and show console exclusive games. Then you might get us hyped again.
You already have Xbox Live. Say it will get better but without the extra cost, and you got a Juggernaut.
NO SPORTS. NO APPS. NO USHER……Well, if he doesn’t ask people to dance, then it’s ok. JUST.THE.GAMES!
So that was my rant, and I hope you enjoyed it.
Now, I am going to stand beneath this lead shield and hope that the hate doesn’t kill me.